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‘Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.’

~ Andre Malraux ~

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Rebellion (Lies)…

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 Sleeping is giving in
No matter what the time is
Sleeping is giving in
So lift those heavy eyelids

People say that you’ll die
Faster than without water
But we know it’s just a lie
Scare your son and scare your daughter

People say that your dreams are the only things that save ya
Come on baby in our dreams, we can live our misbehaviour

Every time you close your eyes (Lies, lies)
Every time you close your eyes

People try and hide the night
Underneath the covers
People try and hide the light
Underneath the covers
Come on hide your lovers, underneath the covers
Hidin’ from your brothers, underneath the covers
Come on hide your lovers underneath the covers

People say that you’ll die
Faster than without water
But we know it’s just a lie
Scare your son and scare your daughter

Now here’s the sun, it’s alright! (Lies, lies)
Now here’s the moon, it’s alright! (Lies, lies)

Every time you close your eyes (Lies, lies)

Every time you close your eyes

~ Arcade Fire: Rebellion (Lies) ~

Unsent Letter…

I have always found writing to be one of the best forms of therapy for myself since traditional forms have proven utterly useless in the past. Whether it be writing for this blog, penning my memoirs, completing a journal, a story, poem or letter, once the negativity emerges from my soul and onto the page I always, somehow, felt better.

Some months ago I wrote of two people who I knew would eventually hurt me: one a liar and one a leopard who couldn’t change his spots (see Oh What a Tangled Web…). Both have since hurt me, and gone from my life.

Tonight I stopped crying, I wrote

Another unsent letter,

In a pile addressed to you,

Care of something somewhere better…

Oh What a Tangled Web…

‘Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!’

~ Sir Walter Scott ~

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Over the course of my life I’ve discovered that I possess a super power. Curiously, it’s one that many people possess, but are unable to utilise to their full extent. It is intuition.

I have always been an intuitive person however tended to ignore it until recently. There came a point where things would happen and retrospectively I would say to myself “I knew that would happen” or something of the like. When I began using my intuition in conjunction with my many years of university studies of human behaviour/psychology I understood that I possessed the power to read people, for a lack of a better phrase. When I began to use this power I was able to, with pinpoint accuracy, tell when people were lying to me and that people would emotionally hurt me as a result sometimes months, even years, before they actually did.

My kryptonite is my willingness to allow myself to be hurt despite knowing that I eventually would be.

I know you’re going to hurt me because I know you’re lying to me, and I know you will hurt me again because a leopard can’t change his spots.

Can somebody please tell me why I haven’t fucking cut them both out of my life already?…