Someone met in the office may be deceiving me and this is playing on my mind especially since I will be staying in my job where I will experience wonderful growth.
It’s funny how you think you know someone and then something happens within their lives that causes them to act in a manner which you’ve never been privy to before.
My BFF I’ve known for a decade, possibly a bit longer. Ours is a friendship created at work which spilled into real life and was sustained even when we stopped working together. It is one of those friendships where we don’t have to see or speak to each other all the time in order to maintain it; the best kind of friendship. We support each other through tough times, laugh with each other through silly times and cry with each other through sad times.
During our friendship we each ended our respective long term relationships at one stage. She hated my ex and chose to just not spend time with the two of us together so as not to appear awkward. This was fine by me, as my other friends decided to distance themselves from me entirely due to him. Hers was a compromise I could accept. Oddly though, while she was in her relationship I only ever met her partner twice with excuses being made multiple times over why catch ups couldn’t occur. In time, I uncovered partially why that was the case, but even now when I bring up the fact she hid him from me I’m shut down in a heartbeat and the subject is changed.
Ultimately, I’ve primarily been witness to bestie as a single woman. As a single woman she is strong, independent, opinionated, beautiful, caring and sharing, among a myriad of other things.
In recent months bestie has decided, much like myself, to delve into the world of Tinder. Now, I’m familiar with the world of internet dating having tried it a couple of years ago briefly, bestie is not. As a result, I’ve been a sounding board for her with her various adventures. Now let me detail her adventures on Tinder over the last 4 months:
Adventure a) Guy shows interest. Guy is clearly a player. I tell Bestie guy is clearly a player. Bestie ignores me. Bestie falls head over heels. Bestie gets heart broken in less than a month. I don’t say ‘I told you so’.
Adventure b) Guy shows interest. Guy is not even in the same state. Bestie falls head over heels. After over 3 months of never meeting Bestie acts likes a possessive crazy woman dictating what he can and can’t do. I offer positivity when I can because I am scared stiff of telling her she’s acting nuts.
What have I learned from this? My BFF is bat-shit crazy in relationships and even in scenarios that aren’t yet relationships. It’s kinda scary. On the plus side, I now know the full reasons for having her shield me from her former relationship, if you can call that a plus side. Also, she makes me look positively sane. Regardless of all of that, I love her and will continue to support through this whole
‘It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.’
~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca ~
After approximately two years, maybe more, I’ve delved back into the world of dating *sigh* It hasn’t been a complete success lets say, and unfortunately, I’m finding that the rejection that comes from it has a tendency to serve as a reminder of my own negative views of myself.
To be quite honest, my ex really fucked me up, and it’s taken me a long time to find confidence in myself again, so it doesn’t take a lot for me to slip into the abyss.
Three days ago I slipped into the abyss.
The day after, a random, unexpected simple gesture brought me back out of it.
When I came home from work, I checked my letter box and found a hand written envelope addressed to me. Given this is the age of electronic mail with predominately only bills arriving via post, I was a) confused, b) surprised, c) excited…actually d) all of the above. I opened it and discovered a beautiful card with a caricature of the Queen of Hearts on one side and a hand written note on the other. It was from one of my Twitter followers who lives almost 1500 km away; someone who I don’t speak to with any major regularity; someone who I have connected with and who has helped me out at various times; someone who I share common interests with; someone I call my friend. A handful of simple words from them made me stop, forget about all the negativity of the day before and remember how lucky I am to have such friends that look out for me, even if it is from afar.
Sometimes simple things like a guy not wanting to see you again can knock you down in a heartbeat, yet just as quickly simple things like an unexpected postcard from a friend can show you the light again and make you smile. The key is remembering to focus on the latter and being thankful for what you do have as opposed to what you don’t.