You Dirty Rat

An open letter to my real estate agent sent via email…

Good Afternoon,

It appears that over the course of the last 2 months since I’ve moved in, a menagerie has developed in my house, and it’s not a nice one unfortunately.

So far, I’ve caught and disposed of 1 giant rat (think lettuce head and I’m not exaggerating) and 2 mice. The rat thankfully was located outside because it was too fat to get in the house, but the mice were captured inside the house.

I’ve discovered a hole behind the bathroom vanity which seems to be one of their access points. I actually saw one of the rodents scurry back behind it which is what prompted me to get some rat sacks and mouse traps. It took about a month but it finally reappeared only to come to its demise just as quickly. Unfortunately, a second mouse was found deceased in my young daughter’s room over the weekend. She is quite scared now, and as a result refuses to go into the bathroom alone.

As mentioned, I’ve placed traps and rat sacks both inside and outside the house including in the shed and the rat sacks have been nibbled at confirming the presence of the rodents in case the dead ones inside weren’t sufficient evidence.

Whilst I understand that rodents outside isn’t unheard of and I’ve taken steps to deal with that issue, the fact they’re coming in is unacceptable so there’s a few things I’d like to propose. Firstly, I’d like the owner to arrange for pest control to deal with the situation and I’d like the hole behind the bathroom vanity to be patched up. I would do the latter myself but my handyperson skills don’t extend that far and I honestly don’t want to do any damage to the house or vanity itself. Secondly, I’d like permission to put security doors on the back room doors (lounge/dining) at my expense and possibly the laundry door, although that door isn’t a priority. Other than the rodents the amount of spiders, ants, crickets and geckos entering the house is mind blowing. I aim to choose a pair of doors which sit flush into the frame so that all the gaps that are present with the current wooden doors are no longer present thus stopping the unwanted creatures from getting in.

By the way, we have a pet gecko now. She roams freely through the house and at any given time I have no idea where she is, but on the plus side the amount of crickets and spiders in the house has diminished since her arrival. I intend on keeping her and hope that’s okay.

Thanks,

A.

After forty-eight hours I still hadn’t received a response from them. Instead, a letter arrived in the post advising me I was subject to a house inspection. Perhaps I should fish out the dead mouse from the bin and leave it as a special gift for their prompt action to my concerns?